Dan’s Insights & Tips

In 2005, I walked out of a building in Sydney’s CBD.
Not with a promotion.

But with a box of my belongings… and a sinking feeling in my chest.

I was 21.
Fresh-faced.
Full of ambition.
And completely blindsided.

I hadn’t passed probation at Borough Mazars – a top accounting firm.
And just like that, I was out.

I still remember the automatic doors sliding shut behind me.
I felt small.
Embarrassed.
Stuck.

But I didn’t stay stuck.

20 years later, I walked back into that same building.

This time, not as a junior employee hoping to prove myself –
But as a keynote speaker, invited by Dentons, the world’s largest law firm, to speak about mental wellbeing and performance.

Same building.
Very different chapter.

WHY THIS STORY MATTERS

According to SEEK Australia, many professionals face a significant career setback early in their journey – often before the age of 30.

We’ve all had moments like that.

Where something ends, unexpectedly.
Where you question your worth.
Where the monkeys on your back – fear, shame, self-doubt – start to scream louder than your inner voice.

But what if those moments weren’t the end of the story?
What if they were just the setup for something far greater?

Let me share five lessons that helped me turn that early career rejection into a full-circle moment – and might just help you write your own powerful next chapter.

1. DON’T LET FAILURE DEFINE YOU

That probation failure stung. Deeply.
But looking back, I realise now – the loudest judgment came from within.

“You’re not cut out for this.”
“You’ve let everyone down.”
“Maybe this is all you’ll ever be.”

Those thoughts weren’t truth.
They were monkeys – loud, relentless, and heavy.

It’s easy to confuse a moment of failure with a lifetime of inadequacy. But that’s a lie.
Failure is an event, not an identity. You can learn from it, grow through it, and rise above it.

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

(J.K Rowling)

2. FACE THE MONKEYS, DON’T FEED THEM

I could’ve buried the experience. Pretended it never happened.
But avoidance only feeds the monkeys.

Instead, I got honest.
I reflected.
I wrote.
I asked for feedback I didn’t want to hear – but needed to.
And slowly, I started peeling back the layers.

We all carry stories that shape how we see ourselves.
But not all stories deserve to stay.

Ask yourself:
What’s the loudest monkey on your back right now?
And what’s it costing you?

“Naming the emotion is the first step to taming it.”

(Dr. Dan Siegel)

3. CLIMB A NEW LATTER, NOT JUST THE NEAREST ONE

After that setback, I didn’t rush into another job out of panic.
I took time to re-centre.
To rebuild.

Eventually, I carved out a decade-long career in accounting, working with firms like KPMG and BDO.
I rose through the ranks. I gained confidence.
But in time, something stirred again.

There was a deeper calling I couldn’t ignore.

So I pivoted once more –
Not from failure this time, but from success… into purpose.

Personal leadership is not about climbing fast. It’s about climbing true.

You don’t have to stay on the ladder you started on.

4. USE PAIN AS FUEL, NOT AS A CAGE

Pain changes people.
The question is – how?

For me, pain became a portal.
Not just the pain of career rejection, but of growing up with ten years of bullying – being labelled “Monkey Merza”.

For a long time, that label weighed me down.
Now, I’ve taken the monkey metaphor and flipped it –

I use it to help people liberate themselves.

“The monkeys on your back” now represent the fears, stressors, and limiting beliefs we all carry.

Sometimes, your greatest wound can become your greatest wisdom.
But only if you allow it to.

“The only way out is through”

(Robert Frost)

5. WRITE THE CHAPTER YOU WANT TO WALK BACK INTO

Walking into that same building as a keynote speaker hit me hard.

I paused in the lobby.
Took a deep breath.
And let the moment land.

The building hadn’t changed.
But I had.

It wasn’t luck.
It was years of small, invisible steps:
Choosing growth over comfort.
Discipline over despair.
Faith over fear.

You can’t always control how your story starts. But you can absolutely choose how it continues.

What if the version of you five years from now came face to face with where you are today…

Would they thank you for starting?

And if you’re curious what that return looked like – not just in words, but in action – here’s a glimpse of that moment, and the journey that led to it.

Watch: My Corporate Showreel – The ‘Monkeys Off Your Back’ Experience

FINAL WORD – Because Your Setback Isn’t the End of the Story

Setbacks will come.
Doors will close.
But meaning isn’t found in avoiding the hard parts.
It’s found in rising through them.

You can either carry the monkeys…
Or confront them, free yourself, and walk into a chapter you wrote on your own terms.

“A setback is a setup for a comeback”

(TD Jakes)

If this story spoke to you, share it with someone who’s in a tough season. They might need the reminder.